August 23, 2012
Divorces happen. Statistics report that almost 50% of marriages in America end in divorce. And many of those spouses have children … children that can get lost in the shuffle and who suffer as much as, if not more than, their parents.
Unfortunately, children who suffer during divorces can continue on a downward spiral into the future. They may indulge in unhealthy behaviors. They may seclude themselves from others and are often quiet and sad. Their performance in school may be poor. And they are more likely to stay single as adults.
All this is caused by that legal process which most of them come to hate. When I say protect your child, it means not getting them involved in your fight. Here are 5 steps to guide you in protecting your child from divorce.
#1 Talk freely with them about the process.
The major thing that children fear is not knowing what will happen to them. Explain clearly what is happening and the steps that will be taken in court. Tell them that it is all for the best as the two of you need to live separately. They may not understand in the beginning as they know that parents are supposed to live together. But if you explain and tell them the benefits, they will surely come to understand … and perhaps appreciate it.
#2 Do not forget their presence.
Divorce is overwhelming, and you can end up spending a lot of time preparing for the court and fighting with your partner. Acting as if you are ignoring your child can be hurtful, even when you do not mean it. Set time aside to talk to them and ask about their school work. And keep them in the loop about your life as well.
#3 Avoid Fighting in Their Presence.
No child looks forward to seeing his or her parents fighting. This scene should be avoided at all costs, most especially when you are fighting about the custody issues. The child may end up getting the impression that he is the cause of the divorce.
#4 Always Be There For Them.
Being the one to comfort them instead of it being the other way round, is always a good idea. The child may understand but still there are times the process may really get to them. Make sure you are always there to comfort and reassure them that everything will be okay.
#5 Know What to Say … And What Not To.
The fact that the child knows what is going on does not mean they need to know everything. If your partner is not supporting you and the child, do not mention it. Children tend to feel like the other party has abandoned them.
Now you know how you can protect your child from divorce, do not let them suffer innocently.