Quarantine Quarrels: Is Coronavirus Hurting Your Marriage?
June 10, 2020
There have been many stories about an uptick in couples fighting. You may have even read a few including this one about how the quarantine isn’t ruining relationships, but could be speeding up divorces. If you feel like the coronavirus pandemic is hurting your marriage, you really aren’t alone.
It shouldn’t be a surprise that, under these stressful circumstances, being stuck inside with the same person (or people) can cause friction. Yet, we might see our current struggles as a sign that our relationship isn’t working. Don’t be so quick to jump to conclusions at a time like this. Let’s talk about some of the common problems couples are facing right now.
Kids at Home
From your friends on Facebook to celebrities, most parents are talking about how hard it is to be with their kids 24/7 without a break. Kids are bored and some are too young to understand what’s happening, which can be exhausting for everyone.
On top of that, we’re all stuck homeschooling and distance learning for the first time which can be emotionally taxing. If this is putting a strain on your household, be kind to yourselves and schedule a lot of down time and play time (even with teens!).
Too Much Uncertainty
We’re in uncharted territory right now with the coronavirus pandemic, so there’s a lot of unknown variables. We don’t even know much about the virus itself, as such, leaders around the world have been trying to figure out the best way to handle the crisis.
When things are constantly changing and we don’t know what’s wrong or right, it can take a toll on our mental health. It’s hard to feel positive and be a good partner all the time when we’re all riding waves of depression and anxiety.
We’ve heard people say that “we’re all in this together” and that “we’re all in the same boat,” but that’s not true. Some families are continuing to work or had enough savings to be comfortable during this time. Others have become unable to pay rent or buy food.
If your funds have dried up and you’re unsure what to do next, the best thing you can do is stick together. Don’t let money come between you and don’t let your hardship affect your self-worth. Many, many families are going through the same thing right now, so this isn’t a failure on your parts.
Fear for Your Safety
Whether you’re at-risk or not, it’s perfectly normal to be nervous about contracting an unfamiliar virus. Of course, it’s even more scary if you or a loved one also have an underlying health condition. A trip to the store or going to work has become dangerous for some.
On top of that, there have been protests and acts of violence. Park rangers thrown in a lake for enforcing social distancing or a security guard shot and killed for asking a customer to wear a mask. These types of stories are genuinely frightening, so if you’ve been arguing more at home, it might be because you’re feeling tense.
Not Having a Unified Plan
There’s no doubt about the fact that the coronavirus pandemic has impacted our lives right now and maybe forever. At the same time, not everyone is on the same page for how to handle things. Some feel that we should take cover until we have a vaccine or more is understood. Others are glad shops and businesses are opening to save the economy.
The battle rages on across the country—and maybe even inside some homes. If partners disagree on how the government and citizens should manage this crisis, it can be a source of major discord in your relationship. Try to see each other’s perspectives and work towards a unified plan.
No matter what happens, try to keep some perspective. Things aren’t easy right now, but they could be much worse. There are families who have lost multiple loved ones to COVID-19 or who have survived only to be facing huge hospital bills—and the situation continues to evolve every day.
There are a lot of layers to what’s happening in our global society right now, and the best thing we can do is pull together to get through this. We don’t know when we’ll get to the other side, but by showing love and compassion to your partner and your fellow human beings, we might get there faster and stronger than ever before.