Between politics and the coronavirus outbreak, there’s not much room for anything else in the headlines. One story has stood out, though, and that’s Carrie Underwood’s decision to open up about pregnancy loss in the April issue of Women’s Health. This is a deeply emotional topic, unfortunately, it’s also highly relatable to many women. 

After being crowned the winner of American Idol back in 2005, it didn’t take long for Underwood’s career to take off. With many hit records under her belt, it seemed as though her life was a real-life fairy tale when she married NHL hockey star, Mike Fisher, in 2010. She quickly learned, though, that not everything magically falls into place. 

“I’m Not in Control of Everything

Fisher and Underwood wanted a family, but when the singer suffered three miscarriages in the span of two years, they experienced a pain that is all too familiar in households around the world. “For my body to not be doing something it was ‘supposed to do’ was a tough pill to swallow,” Underwood, 36, said. “It reminded me I’m not in control of everything.”

Too often, women blame themselves for pregnancy loss, which is something Underwood says she felt. “Of course you wonder if it’s you, what am I doing wrong, or what have I done wrong. I remember having conversations with [my husband] trying to make sense of it all.”

Learning to Surrender

Even in her earliest days on American Idol, it’s been clear that Underwood draws strength from her faith. She felt shaken and confused when she struggled to have a second child after giving birth to her son, Isaiah, in 2015. 

“I’ve always wanted to be a good daughter to my parents but also to God and not complain, because we are beyond blessed,” she said. “I get to do what I love, I have an incredible family. I have Mike, I have Isaiah, I have great parents. I have all of these amazing people around me, and I don’t want to complain, ever.”

In the end, Underwood says the whole thing taught her to surrender control. “…the miscarriages made me get real with God and say, ‘Okay, I’m kind of giving up a little bit. If this isn’t meant to happen, then I need to accept that and know that someday I’ll understand why.'”

Mama of Two 

While it doesn’t happen for everyone, the couple were overjoyed when they found out Underwood was expecting again. “We heard that everything was okay and I was pregnant with Jacob,” Underwood said. “He’s just this perfect little bundle of a smiley guy.”

Today, the country music superstar is mother to Isaiah Michael, 5, and Jacob Bryan, 13 months. Of the decision to share her story? It feels like a “weight lifted off my shoulders,” she says. “It’s not a dirty secret. It’s something many women go through.”

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