Women and Dating: What We Can Learn From “The Bachelor”
February 5, 2013
The Bachelor has been on the air for years now – and season after season we tune in hoping to see just as much drama as romance. There seems to be a predictable pattern – the women break off into groups and, usually, there’s one girl who acts so crazy she ends up being the target of the other contestants. Invariably, the guy (in this case, Sean) can’t see what everyone else can because the woman is good at hiding it (and he doesn’t want to believe anything anyone tells him either).
It’s rare that we get to see this many women being observed around the clock – but what the cameras capture sheds a lot of light on how we act when we are dating, particularly in a non-exclusive relationship. Here’s a look at some of the personality types that seem to emerge every season.
The majority of women tend to speak and act as they normally do, even if it takes an episode or two for them to find their equilibrium. These women are fascinating because they find a way to put their best foot forward in spite of the fact that they are living in a house with other women who are vying for the affection of the same man. They are composed, secure and focused and, really, it’s incredibly impressive.
The Under-the-Radar Girl
Every season there’s a girl we seem to forget about during the episode, but when the Rose Ceremony comes around, she is invited to stay. It’s a risk because the guy could mistake her subdued efforts for a lack of interest but, if well executed, these girls can avoid the drama and sail through all the way to the end.
The Girl Who Speaks Up
This approach rarely goes well. There’s always a girl who thinks she should take aside the guy and tell him how fake the other women are being. All this accomplishes is making the girl look like she’s more interested in being involved in drama than finding love. She not only seems insecure but she also gives the impression that she doesn’t trust the guy’s judgment or his ability to figure things out for himself. This girl is often sent home.
The Girl Next Door
Sweet and wholesome, this girl never has anything bad to say about anyone. She seems down-to-earth, genuine and approachable without being high maintenance.
The opposite of the girl next door, this woman always has something negative to say about people and gives the impression that she cannot be trusted. Harsh and judgmental, it can be hard to trust someone who spends their free time devising schemes or cooking up stories about others.
We all roll our eyes at the person that says “I’m really not into drama” but seem to thrive when their life is in sheer chaos. They want the opportunity to play the victim, they want to be pitied and will almost always have something going on that is “more important” than what you’re experiencing. After a while, this type of woman is thoroughly exhausted.
Some women seem more like they want to “win” than establish a healthy relationship. They might not be even interested in a guy until it seems like he’s interested in someone else and then, suddenly, she’s trying to convince him that they are soul mates. The true motives of women like this inevitably become clear.
At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you focus on being yourself and being genuine in your relationship. Don’t try to play games and be manipulative – it rarely works in the long run. Be direct and spell it out for your significant other so that they don’t have to wonder what you want and how you feel. The realness and transparency will pay off in the long run.