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Relationship Limbo: 5 Signs That You Should End It

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January 8, 2013

No one likes talking about this – but not every relationship is meant to last forever.  That doesn’t mean we should throw in the towel at the first signs of trouble – but there are some red flags that could signify taking a closer look at your relationship. Here are five signs that you and your significant other may be on the outs.

Fighting More Than Ever

Every couple has their moments, and most of us know what it’s like to have some really bad arguments, especially if something stressful is going on (job loss, new baby, relocation, health problems, etc…) but there comes a time when the resentment and lack of compassion has reached a point where talking is almost entirely replaced by arguing.  It wouldn’t hurt to invest in some marital counseling to try to determine the root cause of the discord in order to see if the true issue is fixable.

Complete Breakdown in Communication

When a marriage reaches such a bad state that there is more silence than anything else (including arguments), there is serious trouble.  When couples feel they can’t even begin to try to talk to each other, it often means all other attempts at communicating have failed and they’ve given up on anything ever improving.  Marital counseling can provide each party the tools they need to communicate more effectively.

Repeated Infidelity

We won’t comment on whether cheating spouses should be forgiven but, presumably, a marriage that has endured infidelity probably continued based on one specific rule – no more cheating.  If the unfaithful behavior continues despite the hurt it caused the first time, there may be greater problems at play that only a trained professional can determine.  One reason why repeated adultery is a red flag, however, is that every sexual encounter outside of the marriage increases the risk of exposing the betrayed spouse to a sexually transmitted disease or even violence in the form of revenge.  It’s a risky path to follow… we’ve all seen Fatal Attraction.

No Goals in Common

This may not have the same immediate punch that the previous red flags garnered but this is a serious issue.  Couples can be getting along just fine, especially earlier in their relationship, before they’ve had kids and are forced to make decisions about their futures.  If one of them reveals that their dream is to retire to the south of France while the other hopes to take over the family farm and work the land until the end of their life, we’ve got a problem.  We might have two people who get along and love each other dearly but must make a decision about themselves and/or their relationship in order to reach a common ground – which could include amicably parting ways.

Counseling Hasn’t Worked 

Many couples try to work on their marriage by seeking out professional counseling but, unfortunately, it isn’t a magic solution that will cure everyone’s problems.  There are so many things involved – how willing each spouse/partner is to make changes, for example – and, for that reason, even with the best intentions, a couple can find that counseling cannot perform miracles and that, for some, the relationship must end.

Do you have any red flags to share?

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