Social Moms

Empower Yourself Into a New Relationship

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April 15, 2013

Whether you are single, one half of a couple, or somewhere in the middle – you have probably felt, at some point, that your needs are not being met.  Maybe you feel like what you want takes a backseat, or that your voice isn’t being heard.  While it’s true that your partner (if you are in a relationship) may be taking you for granted, it’s also possible that you aren’t making your requirements clear.  People treat us now we allow them to treat us. If you want to feel more valued, you may want to consider making some changes.

Set Your Standards

Don’t expect your love interest to be a mindreader.  It’s very likely that they have been in relationships before and, along with seeing their parents interact, those experiences shaped how they treat their romantic partners.  For this reason, it’s very important to be upfront about what you want out of a relationship. Be clear from the beginning, expressing what you are and are not willing to accept.  That way, you will know sooner than later if you and your partner are compatible.  Don’t compromise or lower your standards just because someone is cute or you have good chemistry – the glitter of those early days fades eventually.

Make Them Earn Your Time

Sometimes, we make it too easy for others, especially if we are just starting to date someone.  Women often make the mistake of being on “stand-by” and, after eagerly waiting for his call, make themselves available based on someone else’s schedule.  Then, we are all too willing to accept someone who doesn’t call when they promised, cancels dates or lets us down in other ways.  Despite our disappointment, we still repeat the cycle as soon as they call us again.

It’s important that we live our own lives and that we don’t just drop everything because someone finally remembered to call us and we certainly shouldn’t reward someone for disrespectful behavior.  Let your love interest know in a polite but firm way that you don’t appreciate being left hanging for days on end. Let him know that, if he isn’t truly interested in you, you shouldn’t waste each other’s time.  When a woman doesn’t seem needy and desperate but, rather, is confident and knows what she wants, she will earn respect.

Get Healthy

It makes total sense that we will feel better about ourselves and expect more from others if we are eating well, exercising regularly and getting enough sleep.  Think about how good it feels when you’ve lost a few pounds and strut around in a new outfit.  You feel attractive, powerful and confident.  That’s exactly how you want to feel in a relationship.  You will have high standards but you will also be able to match those efforts.

The Bottom Line

Whether you are looking for a new relationship or trying to work on an existing one, the most important thing is that everyone’s needs are being met.  Life it too short to silently wish that your life could be different.  Be proactive, ask for what you want (be willing to compromise) and, if a situation is no longer working for you, have the courage to move on but never settle.  You are worth more than that!

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