As a yoga instructor, I’ve learned to practice exercises that help me to take my focus off my environment and reflect on how I respond to outward influences. We live in a stimulating culture that beckons us to live by our senses, many of those visual. When we rely on images around us as our reality we will most likely feel let down. Our culture overall places a great deal of emphasis on physical beauty, much of it non-verbal in computer edited images all around us. Our brains tell us this is not real but our hearts may be thinking we ought to measure up to these unrealistic expectations.

There are some simple things you can do to protect yourself from being overly influenced by our culture and develop a positive body image in the process.

1. Look in the mirror less– I’m reminded of a visit my husband and I took to a resort. The bathroom had a makeup mirror in it. It was not just a mirror, it magnified your face about 50 times. All I could think of if I looked in that mirror was all the imperfections in my skin, yuck! If you look in the mirror a lot, you probably will see something each time that could be fixed, rearranged or smoothed out. Use a mirror less and your attention won’t be focused on your physical appearance.
2. Limit the attention you give to advertising – The more attention you give to magazine and tv ads, displays in the malls and billboards, the more likely your subconscious will take this as a normal baseline. Give more attention to real people and relationships and you’ll see the world as it really is, including yourself.
3.  Question your thought process for making choices about your physical beauty – why do you want to wear certain clothes or trends? Make-up? Hair style?  Is it because you really like them and the styles are flattering to you or is it because you’re following the crowd? The more you follow the crowd blindly without reflecting on who you are and what is best for you the more likely you‘ll be dissatisfied with your self-image.
4. Ask your husband or a friend to affirm your beauty - I realize it takes the spontaneity out of the situation, but express to your husband how important it is to hear him tell you what he finds attractive in you. Most guys in general have a hard time verbalizing this, but with some coaching, he will most likely surprise you with some encouraging words when you least expect it. Your self-esteem should not solely depend on your physical appearance, but your beauty is what is unique about you. When you celebrate your individuality, it will bring lay a strong foundation for a positive body image.
5. Get rid of clothes that don’t fit you – Whether you are trying to lose or maintain weight, holding on to clothes that don’t fit you will just be a reminder of what you haven’t accomplished. In my case, I was insecure maintaining the weight I lost after childbirth and I kept the “big” clothes just in case.  I’ve accepted my body image where it is today and finally got rid of the things just taking up space in my closet. If you want something as an incentive to lose a few pounds, keep an outfit or special pair of jeans, but skip keeping a whole wardrobe of clothes that don’t fit.
6. Exercise, eat right and be content with where you are right now – Do what you can to be healthy today. Everyone has different body types and metabolisms so don’t look to what others are achieving. If you are doing all that you can to make good choices in diet and exercise, give yourself credit for that. Focus on your accomplishments as a woman, a mom and a wife if you’re married.

These are some simple things that don’t take a lot of time, but you’ll reap benefits far beyond the effort they require. I’m also motivated to model a healthy self-image for a big reason: my kids. For my daughters especially, I want to make sure that I’m not communicating discontent in my self –image (even though I might be feeling it some days) that will rub off on them. I’m surprised at how young girls start to say that they “feel fat” or they should lose weight (really, from a 2^nd grader!). As women, we all have “feeling fat” days or low self-esteem, my hope is that my insecure feelings will not project onto my kids as “normal” thoughts of a mom.  I also want my kids to have a positive body image and I need to model that to them.

When I focus less on myself, I find my body image becomes better. I know that beauty is not skin deep, it goes much further and we all have a lot to offer the world. When you take your focus off your physical body and focus on other areas of your life and you will naturally begin to have a better body image.

Exercise and health are often at the top of many “resolutions”, and often the first ones broken. While many people have different reasons for breaking resolutions, one might be that the goals were unrealistic. True self-reflection involves being genuine with yourself and not just setting goals that your best friend has made or picking from the Top 10 New Year Resolutions. Most often, our Ego gets in the way of making sensible decisions day to day when your actions are driven by what others are doing rather than what is best for you. If your Ego controls your fitness routine, you may be putting yourself at a higher risk of injury.

When we look to what others are doing in exercise we may put ourselves in positions taking us beyond a safe point of execution no matter what the form of activity. While competition in certain situations can be good, it is not healthy when practiced in every situation or for the wrong reasons. Yoga instruction encourages self-reflection in class and in life so you can practice exercise that is personalized for your body. The practice of yoga does not encourage competition in class because this takes your focus off of your self-awareness.

Real physical and emotional growth takes place when you see yourself as it truly is and improve from there. The perspective totally changes when you are working just to keep up with your neighbor, you may have had a great workout, but what was your baseline? Where did you improve from and where can you move to next?  These same principles are important whether you are walking on the treadmill or taking a Pump class. If you add extra weights to your bar just because the person next to you is, and you really might not be ready, you’re putting yourself at a risk of hurting yourself. When you keep the focus on your personal goals and limitations, you have a consistent point to move forward from.

Here are some tough questions to ask yourself to determine if your ego may be setting you up for injury in exercise:

1. Are you competitive in everyday situations?

Are you living life trying to “keep up with the Jones’”? Do you notice what others have and then get it yourself? Do you keep track of what the other kids are achieving or what activities your friends are doing? Do you volunteer at every opportunity even at your family’s expense? Everyone does this to an extent, but do you use your observations as a primary catalyst for making your own decisions? Who and what are you primarily influenced by? Friends? Advertising? Celebrities? Status?

2. Who are you paying attention to?

If there are mirrors in a class, do you check your clothing or hair during a workout? Are you looking at your neighbor to see how high her steps are? If your attention is always on how high the person next to you is kicking or reaching, you may be losing sight of how your own body is moving. If most of your thoughts are on how your workout clothing is fitting, or what others are wearing, you are losing out on the benefits of training your mind to focus and concentrate on your workout. Of course, exercise for social reasons are a bit different scenario, just make sure you are not talking with a neighbor when an instructor is teaching. This is not only rude, but you may miss important points to keep you safe. It’s best to leave the social time for before and after class as a sign of respect to the teacher and other students. You can also select activities that are less structured, like taking a walk or run with friends, that allow fornatural interaction.

3. Do you always go for the advanced options in a class regardless of how you are feeling?

If your neighbor picks up the pace, do you rise up to keep to their level? Have you thought about getting off the treadmill/weight machine/elliptical trainer but kept going until the person next to you finishes, even though you’re done? Keeping up with your neighbor is risky, unless you are paired with someone of identical fitness ability and body type. Everyone is unique and has different strengths and weaknesses. Listen to your body and adjust your workout to suit your personal level and energy for the day. When you lose sight of yourself, you risk injury if you are trying to push yourself beyond your limits just to match the instructor or another student in class.

4. Is there flexibility in your workout schedule?

Are you afraid of missing a class that your friends might be attending? Exercising is a social activity for many, but are there times when you should have skipped a class (nasty cold or pulled muscle)? Pain is our body’s signal to ease up. When we push through injury pain or exercise beyond our limits we put ourselves in a position of making things worse. Getting to know your body better is really an art. Maybe there are days in your monthly cycle that you have absolutely no energy to exert, and you realize you need to just allow your body to rest. For some, you may know that you just need to get moving during PMS, do some gentle stretches and the fatigue and bloating pass on quickly. This is where Svadhyaya is so important, being familiar with your body. The more you get to know your body, the better you’ll be able to discern when something is not right and you need to back off or modify your routine regardless of what the crowd is doing.

5. What are your goals for working out ?

It might be easy to just ask your friends what they are doing, but the healthiest way to approach your fitness routine is with a clear vision of who you are. Then, what you hope to achieve will be based on your body type, fitness level and personal needs. If your goals to workout are to follow someone else’s cues, then it will be their goals you are trying to meet.

Our Egos influence all of us in one way or another. Your Ego’s focus is on external factors, Svadhyaya begins as an internal perspective. If you are allowing your Ego to influence your decisions on a day to day basis, either in your outlook in life, competitive nature overall or in your motives for keeping fit, you may not make the best decisions for your Self. When you take your attention off of yourself, physically or mentally in a class or while exercising, you increase your chances of injury. When you understand your motives and your body, you can respond safely and effectively to build a healthy and strong body. It might take a bit longer than if you pushed yourself to the point of injury, but you’ll have a greater satisfaction of achieving goals that really work for you.

Whether self-reflection is a new concept to you or not, one easy place to begin is with your posture. Watch for an upcoming article on proper body alignment: essentials for a strong and healthy body that can lessen your potential for injuries.

Breathe

Breath is the key to life. It’s also the one body function most taken for granted. We often don’t think of our breath until it is taken away, limited or challenged by coughs or colds. Your breath patterns may not be at the top of your mind most days. But paying close attention to your breath and being intentional about your breathing can have countless benefits to your physical and emotional health. Breath has the ability to limit our energy when it is depleted, and provide us energy when we make the most of it. It helps our body detoxify and can calm our psyche.  It can also affect metabolism and help the body deal with stress. Yogi’s have known these benefits for generations and continue to pass them down through yoga instruction called “Pranayama“. (Prana means energy, Yama = she who measures, literally translated as the practice of managing your energy) Some breathing techniques are actually quite advanced and are not practiced by everyone. Basic breathing techniques can and should be carried out by everyone, everyday.   When you begin to practice breathing exercises, it is helpful to do it in a quiet, comfortable place where you won’t have interruptions. Once you learn the basics, you can do them anywhere and experience the results right away. Here are three basic techniques you can  start with.

Dirgha Pranayama

(Balancing, three part breath)
Our breath is the main way our bodies are fueled with oxygen. The lungs deliver oxygen to our bloodstream and our major organs (like the heart and brain). Most people are not using most of their lung capacity,  and as a result are not maximizing the oxygen flow that could reach the rest of their body. Three part breathing is an exercise to maximize your lung capacity, utilizing your chest, ribs and abdomen. The movement is simple but does take practice.  Begin with inhaling and expanding your chest first, from the sternum. Next expand your ribs as you continue to inhale. Last allow the belly to expand gently with the last bit of inhalation. As you exhale, reverse your movement, let the belly fall, the ribs drop inward and the chest relaxes. Repeat this several times until you are comfortable with the movement.

Kapalabhati

(Energizing)
Moms can always use more energy, breath is an easy way to bring this forth.  An energizing breath is simply inhaling greater than your exhale.  Don’t do this breath for more than 3-4 cycles at a time or you may get light headed.  This is a quick exercise, not meant for day long practice, but rather at short intervals to wake up your central nervous system.  This breath is effective if you start to get sleepy during the day and you need to be alert or if you are going to start exercising and you’re body is not quite ready to begin.  Take a couple of energizing breaths either sitting or standing and you instantly feel a perk in your posture.

Relaxing Breath

A relaxing breath is the opposite of the Kapalabhati or energizing breath. It is helpful when you need to calm your central nervous system in times of extreme stress or if you need an exercise to help calm you before going to sleep. This breath is especially important because it is helping your body eliminate toxins through your exhalation. The technique is as simple as the previous breaths and you are creating a breath with an exhale greater than your inhale. This is naturally an easier breathing pattern than others and will almost instantly result in a relaxation of your entire body.  As you exhale you can focus on specific body parts, like the shoulders, being intentional about dropping the shoulders and releasing tension with each exhale.  This breath is excellent to do throughout the day when you need to calm your nerves, and it is especially helpful before bed when you need to unwind.

What else can you do to maximize your personal time to renew and refresh?  Add some essential oils like therapeutic grade lavender and melissa to your breath exercises or just diffuse them in your home.  Avoid synthetic fragranced products like perfumes and plug in and spray air fresheners. The chemicals in these may disrupt your hormones and may actually contribute to panic attacks and anxiety.  Pick up a yoga DVD to practice some other yoga techniques at home to help you continue to learn other stress management exercises that can calm your nerves in the months to come.  Continue to breathe deeply and make these exercises part of your daily routine and you’ll be calm, cool and relaxed this season.

P–osture  – Be mindful of your posture throughout the day. When your body is in proper alignment, all your body systems work optimally. You’re also less likely to favor muscle groups, which over time can make you vulnerable to injury. So, sit up straight, lift and open your shoulders and pay attention to how you sit, stand and move throughout the day. The beginning of good posture is becoming aware of how you carry your body right now, so you can correct it going forward.

R–epitition – Repeated activities will build strength, whether you are lifting two ten pound weights or a toddler. Use the time you are with your kids to play and lift them up. Just make sure you are in good alignment, bend your knees when lifting, and stop if you start to feel your muscles weaken.  A simple game I teach new moms is to play with your baby, just lifting them up and down with control, saying or singing “up” when going up and “down” when going down. Make it fun and include the kids. Do some leg lifts while you’re standing at the stove or sink, controlling your movements, or practice “ballet” with your little girl. Kids love it when their parents enter their world, and you can exercise at the same time.

A–dapting movements – You should never feel pain, if you do stop! Overdoing exercise whether in the gym or at home will only result in injury. Think of exercise as part of your every day routine, some days you have more energy than others (and more sleep) so adjust your daily activities to meet your needs if you can. Give yourself some grace if you need to, there will be plenty of days ahead when you can pick up the pace and do more repetitions. Use time in the car driving or standing at the grocery store to engage your muscles, simply tightening your calves, thighs and buttocks when you think of it.

C–ore muscles – The focal point of Pilates exercise is our core muscles ,the area between the navel and the pubic bone. If you have not done Pilates before, it will take some practice to learn how to engage these muscles. Simply start by drawing in your belly button towards your spine. In a Pilates class you learn how to control these muscles and how they are interconnected with your entire body. You learn to use your core muscles whether you are lifting your leg or twisting your torso. Drawing your belly button in and identifying your core muscles takes repetition, with best results when done throughout your day.

T –raining your muscles – All of these elements work together to train your muscles to be stronger, longer and more flexible. When you repeat movements you create muscle memory, so train your muscles the way you’d like them to be. You’ve heard the old adage “Use it or lose it,” this totally applies to physical fitness. Whatever you do, be aware of your posture and repeat it, ideally throughout the day, or at least 3-5 times a week.

I–ntentional movement – You can move in many ways, in fact many of the movements are involuntary.  When you move each day, think about what your body is actually doing and try controlling your movements.  This simple step brings awareness to your muscles so you can engage them more.  Over time, you’ll bring strength to your body.

C–limbing stairs & carrying babies – Take advantage of each situation you’re in to look for opportunities to use your muscles: park your car further away at the store, carry your bags out to the car instead of pushing a cart, carry your babies instead of pushing them in a stroller. If you begin carrying your babies early, your strength will grow with them and keep your arms and shoulders fit.  My favorite baby carrier is the ERGO Baby carrier, designed by a chiropractor. Your body alignment is critical when you carry your baby and toddler and the ERGO carrier supports correct posture.

A–wareness of breath– Breathing is your body’s way of releasing toxins. We have a natural tendency to hold our breath, especially during times of stress. Become aware of your breath, notice when you might hold it and if you catch yourself – breathe! Notice how your breath changes with your movements and posture. Once you are aware of these things you’ll get better at identifying situations where you might hold your breath and be ready to respond in a better way.  Deep breaths can also be a great way to relieve stress, just make sure your shoulders relax when you exhale.

L–ove your body wherever you are at! Good health is not an end point, but a journey. It involves your body, mind and spirit. Love your body right where you are at, there are different seasons of life that require varying expectations. A healthy perspective is to acknowledge your body’s needs and respond so you can to become stronger and stay in balance. With these simple principles you can add some elements of Pilates to your routine every day and make physical fitness a part of who you are whether you make it to the gym or not.

Keep your hands clean

Good hygiene goes beyond hand sanitizers. The CDC recommends thorough hand washing as the best means to eliminate harmful bacteria from your hands. Hand sanitizers are convenient but don’t rely solely on them to keep your family’s hands clean. Many hand sanitizers are also loaded with alcohol, artificial colors and endocrine disrupting chemicals like triclosan. For long term, good habits, teach your children how to properly wash their hands. This includes scrubbing with soap (again, watch out for chemical laden soaps containing ingredients like triclosan) for 20 seconds (about the time it takes to sing the ABC song or Happy Birthday) and rinsing thoroughly. Always keep hand towels fresh and clean, washing more frequently when someone in your home is sick. When you buy your hand sanitizers, use a natural one that uses essential oils like clove or thyme to kill bacteria. Choose your personal care products the way you would buy your foods, read labels and become familiar with ingredients.

Drink plenty of high quality fluids

Drinking high quality fluids are important whether you are healthy or ill. You don’t have to look far to find artificially colored and flavored waters. Don’t be seduced by the bright colors and packages, though. If you train your family’s taste buds to like the sweet, artificially flavored vitamin waters and sport drinks they will only feel satisfied by these processed fluids. Start your children young on fresh, purified water. Keep your water in glass or stainless steel, eliminating the use of plastic bottles. For a treat sometimes, add a splash of fresh fruit juice to naturally sweeten. Fruit flavored, caffeine free teas can appeal to all young and old. Fresh, juiced fruits and vegetables are the ideal beverages for nutrient dense fluids and old fashioned chicken soup can soothe everyone. If you are relying on caffeinated beverages for energy it may be time to assess the amount of rest you are getting.

Get enough rest

OK, I realize I’m talking with parents here, and with six kids I know this is often easier said than done. This is also an area that families with kids might need to get creative. Most people need 8 hours of sleep, those growing kids need even more. Keep in mind that rest involves not only the sleep you get at night for your physical body, but also the need to quiet your mind. Families that are overscheduled are more likely to be stressed and more vulnerable to sickness. Take time to rest yourself and model this for your kids. It’s healthy to pick up your feet and just rest each day, even if for 15-20 minutes. Unstructured time is important to kids and grown-ups and gives your body and mind time to refresh. If you’ve had a rough night up with the kids, fit in as much down time as you can the next day to compensate for the lost sleep and fit in a nap if you can. Rest is also crucial to help the body recover from illness, so don’t be tempted to send the kids to school on medications that just control the symptoms. Not only are they most likely still contagious, they are more susceptible to picking up another bug. If you keep kids home a day early on in their illness, it will probably get them back on their feet quicker and hopefully avoid visits to the doctor for major colds needing antibiotics. Never underestimate the power of some TLC.

Use book covers & carry your own pens & pencils

Staying on the offensive from germs includes being aware of where they lurk. Germ transmission is simple physics – in this case point of contact. Kids in classrooms share countless items, door knobs, pencil sharpeners and more. Take measures where you can to prevent germs from spreading. Have your children use as many school supplies of their own as their school allows. This also goes for adults, carry your own pens and use them in stores, banks or other places you’ll need to use a pen. Textbooks and library books have been in many homes and situations, cover these with stretchy bookcovers or make your own with brown kraft or wrapping paper. If you’re not sure if an item is dirty or clean, err on the cautious side and wipe down surfaces with antibacterial wipes, preferably ones without triclosan or questionable ingredients. Wipe down toys and stuffed animals with a damp washcloth with a few drops of lavender essential oil sprinkled on it to clean surfaces.

Remove shoes at the door, keeping your home clean

Shoes carry an abundance of germs, pesticides and dirt. When you wear your shoes around your house you are spreading these things on the floor of your home. You’ll keep your home cleaner just by removing your shoes when you come in to your house. Many cultures practice this as a sign of respect, and in yoga we look at this as symbolic of leaving your cares at the door. Make your home a sanctuary to come home to, and a cleaner one as well.

Don’t touch your eyes, nose & mouth

This is a habit you can teach your kids at an early age. and since germs enter primarily through the eyes, nose and mouth it’s an important lesson to learn. It seems every child goes through the stage of exploring their nose and mouths, some longer than others. But it is wise to keep an eye on the time they do this strictly from a sanitation perspective. If your child is in this stage of development, watch for moments they may be coming into contact with high risk areas like the bathroom, kids’ shopping carts and public playgrounds. You can be ready to wash hands then when the need arises. Keep little fingers busy with tactile activities like legos, coloring or even little hand and finger games to get attention off of their face.

Germs are all around us and we’ll never be able to eliminate the harmful ones completely. We can teach our kids good habits though to lessen their exposure to the ones that may make them sick. You’ll be teaching them habits they’ll never grow out of, and ones that will help your whole family share in the excitement of life and not the germs.